Have Conflict, Will Travel

Bleh. I don’t get sick that often. When I do, it’s either, “Oh Lord, put me out of my misery” or everything just runs about .2 seconds slow. I’m dealing with the latter kind right now. I’ve stayed home from work, more to not infect others than anything else. I probably could function at half-capacity or so if I went in, but I know I wouldn’t be happy about it. We’ll see what tomorrow brings, but I’ll keep the DayQuil at hand.

Today was the 10th anniversary of the beginning of NATO bombing of Serbia. An air raid siren went off at noon, I’m guessing in remembrance. Every day I walk by bombed-out buildings, right in the middle of the city. It’s a bit surreal. It’s also surreal that Serbians wouldn’t have insisted that they be taken down by now. Serbs are a proud people, and I think somewhere deep down they don’t want to admit they were wrong. Were they wrong? From what I’ve learned, yes, but it’s always hard to know exactly what’s true and what’s portrayed as true when you’re this close to history. I think in the end a lot of hatred was unleashed and the Serbs ended up on the wrong side of a world thinking “never again”. Hopefully some day they’ll be able to extricate themselves and make this country as nice as it could be.

So, one again I’m finding myself away from home when big things are happening.  I was in Israel is 2000 for that election debacle and still there in 2001 for 9/11.  I’m sure I missed some big things while I was in Macedonia as well.  But you know what?  I think I prefer it this way.

I think I’m happier as an observer than as a “participant”.  I see a lot of people I know back in the States getting very pumped up about the inauguration and stuff and I guess I understand but truthfully, I think I’ll be able to enjoy it more from way over here.  It gives me a certain amount of “objectivity” not being bombarded by all of the American media and whatnot.  Honestly, it was sort of weird to be in the U.S. for the election.  I almost felt like I didn’t belong.  I’ve spent so much time as an “outsider” that I think I’ve grown to relish it.  I’m still an American, and would never give that up, but there’s something to be said for experiencing it all from the outside.  Anyway, that’s a long way of saying whatever I was trying to say, hope you understood.

As for Belgrade, all’s ok here.  It’s been cold recently and with the regional problems regarding natural gas supplies between Russia and the Ukraine, there’s been a lot of concern here about heating.  We’ve been fine so far, but fingers are crossed.  Jessie and I are still in a temporary apartment, but we’ll hopefully move in a couple of weeks and that will be good.  It’ll also be nice to see our car again, and be able to move ourselves around.

Ok, that’s all for now.

Got up this morning, in a haze as usual.  The toilet wouldn’t flush.  Ugh, guess I’ll have to call the plumber.  But wait, now the shower isn’t working… or the faucet.  Turns out there was no water working in the whole apartment.  And then I get to work (which is currently 4 blocks from the apartment), and the water is out there too.  Water main break, won’t be fixed until tonight, if we’re lucky.  Turns out I really need a shower in the morning to get my mind functioning.  Caffeine is nice, but the shower is really vital to me being productive at work.  Fortunately, my employer realizes that no functioning bathrooms = bad place to work and is sending us home early.  Which turns this week into one of those fabled 2.5 day work-weeks.  Woohoo.

Some days are honest, some days are not;
Some days you’re thankful for what you’ve got.
Some days you wake up in the army
And some days it’s the enemy.

Back in the summer of ‘93, everything in my life was on the brink of changing.  I had graduated from high school, in a place where I had never felt completely like I belonged.  I didn’t feel like the person I really was, but rather a placeholder.  Mind you, I didn’t know who I was supposed to be, I just knew I wasn’t quite there yet.

Anyway, I was trying to prepare myself for the “self-discovery” I knew was coming (or hoped anyway).  I saw myself becoming “cool”: listening to “cool” music and being culturally aware.  Hence, I bought my first U2 cd.  It was Zooropa, and that alone should I told me that I was barking up the wrong tree.  All the “cool” people who listened to U2 had been listening to them for years, or at least since Achtung, Baby.  One way or the other, Zooropa really spoke to me, though I will admit that I didn’t really understand what it was saying until years later.  But the lyric that really stuck out was the one above.  It was the one that said to me: no matter how bad you feel when you get out of bed in the morning, at least you didn’t wake up in the Army. (Understand that at the time, and to this day, my visualization of “waking up in the Army” is one of waking up cold and miserable in a foxhole somewhere with bullets whizzing over my head and artillery rattling my teeth, no so much just being a professional soldier which could probably be ok in the right situations.)

And I kept that in mind through the vague hardships of college, both scholastic and personal, and then in my professional life as I meandered around the world.  It’s been a boon to me when I get a little down.

Anyway, I woke up the other morning with a different, personal lyric echoing in my head: Some days you wake up in Belgrade, and you know what, it put a smile on my face.