World’s Most Dangerous Commute

October 17th, 2008

As you might know, “The World’s Most Dangerous Road” is in Bolivia.  I have not been on it, nor am I planning to in my remaining days here.  However, I do believe that the trip I take to and from work every day could well compete for “The World’s Most Dangerous Commute”.  There’s a three lane road that connects the higher part of La Paz where I work and the lower part where I live.  That’s three lanes total for traffic going both directions.  As you might expect in a situation like that, there are signs that say when the middle lane goes one direction and when it goes the other.  Unfortunately, Bolivian drivers don’t read signs.  Yesterday, as my taxi zoomed down the hill in the middle lane (the signs say downhill gets the lane between 4pm and 8:30pm), 4 cars came around a corner going uphill in the middle lane.  The standoff ended when my taxi driver chickened out, but it wasn’t even like the uphill drivers even recognized they were doing something wrong.  The rule in Bolivia is “might makes right”, and it seems to apply to everything that happens here, from traffic to politics.

Last Weekend

October 16th, 2008

So, I forgot to write about my excursion to Lake Titicaca last weekend.  The lake is pretty, as is the surrounding landscape.  The town we stayed in, Copacabana, is small and poor-ish, but it was more geared to tourists than I expected it to be.  It vaguely reminded me of Lake Ohrid in Macedonia and the resort town we went to several times in Greece, though it was clearly dump-ier.

It was a pleasant trip on the whole, with several notable “Bolivian moments”:

1.  We got to town at about noon and had lunch after dropping our stuff at the hotel.  After eating, we wandered around town, saw the big cathedral, and then decided to hike up a hill at the edge of town that would probably have a good view of the lake.  I should have known it was a bad idea when I saw the sign indicating that the hill was called “Calvario”, as in Calvary, the hill Jesus was crucified on.  There were actually “Stations of the Cross” on the way up the hill, for those dedicated Catholics out there.  And it was a miserable climb.  Climbing up a steep hill is often onerous, but it is especially so when you’re somewhere between 14 and 15 thousand feet above sea level.  I probably had to take a break every 10 steps up the hill.  When we finally made it, there was indeed a great view of the surrounding area and the lake.  And several stalls set up where vendors were hawking cheap plastic toy cars.  Huh?  Anyway, as we were taking in the view, an old lady asked where we were from and we told her we were Americans and she exclaimed “I love Americans!” which was nice to hear coming from a Bolivian.  There was a little more chit chat and then we asked her if there was a way down the back of the hill.  She said that there was and just be careful not to trip!  And then she and her family proceeded down that very path.  We thought to ourselves, ok, no problem.  Bad idea #2.  Bolivians evidently have some goat DNA because the path she took (and we foolishly followed) was less than a goat path, and by the time we realized our error, it was too late to go back up.  What followed was 20 minutes of the most harrowing downhill hiking that I’ve yet done.  I cursed the lady the whole way down.  I am now convinced that she actually hated Americans and was just trying to lure us to our doom.

2.  When we finally reached the bottom of the hill, we came out on a small road directly next to the entrance of a Bolivian Naval Base.  (Didn’t you know that Bolivia, a firmly land-locked country, had a Navy?)  The guard at the gate gave us a nice hello as we emerged onto the road and then asked if we knew that the goat path we had just taken down the hill was in fact a Navy Goat Path?  He then informed us that because we had illegally taken the Navy Goat Path, we would have to give a “contribution” to the base.  I handed him a 10 Boliviano note (~$1.50) and we went on our way, amazed that he had the gall to extort a bribe from us after we had almost just killed ourselves.  That’s Bolivia.

3.  I finally won a game of Killer Bunnies.

4.  We spent Sunday on the lake and on Isla del Sol, the birthplace of the Sun in Incan mythology.  I, in all my manliest wisdom, decided not to put on any sunscreen.  There was also a lot of hiking through villages and up and down hills, which honestly was pretty tiring.  I have pictures of it all on my camera, but unfortunately no good way at the moment to upload them for you to see.  We saw some Incan ruins.  And some llamas.  And a fat guy on a horse.

5.  On the way home, we had to take a ferry (which we had taken on the way up with no incident).  And when I say “ferry”, I mean a rickety raft-thing that carries maybe 3 cars total and has a dinky outboard motor for propulsion.  Anyway, when we got to the ferry, a Bolivian Navy sailor (noticing a trend?) came up to the car and told us that the two passengers would have to get out of the car and take one of the passenger ferries off to the side.  And, of course, pay extra for the inconvenience.  Why?  He never said, but there’s a good chance it’s because we were gringos, since we didn’t see him tell anyone else in the line to do so.  Also interesting?  The passenger ferry line was probably an hour long, while the car line was about 2 mintues long (we refused to get out and promptly drove onto the ferry).  I love this country.

And that was it.  A decent way to spend the weekend, though I would probably have rather spent it drunk celebrating the Longhorn win over the despised Sooners.  I would have probably rather avoided the severe sunburn that I achieved as well.  Oy.

OU Sucks

October 10th, 2008

But hopefully you already know that.

Your Man in the Balkans

October 8th, 2008

Or soon to be, anyway.  So, it appears that Jessie and I are headed to Belgrade, Serbia (formerly of Serbia & Montenegro, the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia, the Kingdom of Serbia, Austria-Hungary, and the Ottoman Empire).  Yeah, I know, you’re thinking, “Jebus, Bob, can’t you find a nice peaceful place to go where they don’t hate Americans?!”  Well, actually, no I can’t.  It was either Belgrade or back to DC and honestly, another year or two in DC would have made me cry.  Regularly.

Also, it’s evidently getting better with regards to the Serbs and their feelings about Americans.  I hear they’re almost over that whole “bombing their country” thing that happened a while back.  I think it helps that they realize now that we’re not the only ones supporting Kosovo’s independence either.  But you know what?  Whatever.  It’s at sea level and won’t reaggravate Jessie’s problems and that’s reallly all I care about.

While the “where” is settled, the “when” is still up the air.  My employer’s bureaucratic processes have to take place before I can move on and no one has yet been able to give me a firm timeline.  I’m hoping that by the end of October I will be able to get out of La Paz, which is rapidly losing any and all positive qualities that I may have once observed in it.

And so there we are.  Ready to move on.  Especially as it seems that the rainy season in La Paz is upon us.  I’m not really thrilled about that.  One positive Bolivia note:  It looks like I’m going to Lake Titicaca this weekend for some tourism.  That may be fun, if nothing else than for the opportunity to keep saying “Titicaca”.

Nothing

October 1st, 2008

Seriously, folks, I got nothing for you.  I’m not even sure why I logged in here.  My life is exactly the same as it has been for the last couple of weeks.  I’m sitting here in Loca Bolivia, waiting to get on to the next thing.  I’m not terribly engrossed in the financial issues or the political ones in the States.  I’m trying to ignore the political problems here so that I won’t get any more frustrated than I already am.  I’m about to finish my last book, and it’s evidently impossible to find English books in this country (and the mail is taking forever these days so I’m hesitant to order something from Amazon).  My life is a sad story but it’s all bearable.  And that’s it.

G.I. Joe is Real Life

September 26th, 2008

I was a huge G.I. Joe fan as a kid.  I had as many of the toys as I could convince my mom to buy for me, watched the cartoon all the time, and even subscribed to the comic book.  While it was originally vaguely based on real military technology, it quickly veered into science fiction once all the cool “real” toys had been made. 

And today, I opened up CNN.com and found out that one of the toys I had as a kid that was clearly on the science fiction side of things (the Cobra C.L.A.W. to be exact) has now been turned into an actual flying device by some Swiss dude.  Who then crossed the English Channel with it.

Anyway, compare and contrast for yourself:

On the Wagon

September 24th, 2008

I realized last night that I haven’t had a beer in over 2 weeks.  I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since I left Miami.  And truth is, I’m not missing it.  Alcohol has mostly always been a social thing for me.  Anyway, just an observation and I’m sure all will be back to normal when my life gets back to normal.

Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure I know where I’m heading once I leave La Paz.  I’m not going to get into it for fear of jinxing things, but it will be a good place to go for both me and Jessie and it might be more pleasant for people to visit than lovely La Paz.  So, that’s good, but I probably won’t be getting out of here as soon as I would like which is not so good but I guess it’s bearable.

Bolivia continues on down the path of craziness.  I read a lot of stuff that Google Alerts pulls up for me about Bolivia, it’s really hard to believe what some people think is going on here, especially with regards to what the United States is responsible for.  If you were to believe some of the left-wingers (and that includes a lot of Presidente Morales’ government), the US has gone to great lengths to break apart this country.  Yes, it’s true that socialism isn’t exactly the path the US would prefer other countries take, but what benefit do we gain from a civil war here?  It’s not like the US is reliant on Bolivia’s natural gas reserves (if you were to take the “the United States starts wars to get access to petroleum” stance).  All the US really wants is stability and prosperity for our neighbors.  Why?  Well, first, we actually care (which I’m sure will enrage the doubters) and second, a stable and prosperous neighborhood is good for the US.  How hard is that?  And how hard is it to see that blaming the US for all of your problems is one of the easiest abdications of responsibility that a government can take?

I don’t have a stance on the internal problems in this country as it seems that both sides have some serious issues (I’m definitely not a fan of socialism, but the fascist symbology that some of the lowlanders have adopted is equally sickening).  That said, it’s clear to me that compromise is the only real solution to the problems here.  But I’m not going to stick around long enough to see whether it will happen.

Ugh

September 22nd, 2008

I’m somewhat unhappy right now.  My future is cloudy, I’m stuck in La Paz without my wife, and I have virtually nothing to do at work because everyone knows I’m leaving and consequently won’t give me anything to do.  Bleh.

Thinking in the Taxi

September 18th, 2008

I was riding home from work yesterday in a taxi and thinking about what I had wrote about not being sad to leave La Paz.  Maybe that wasn’t entirely correct.  You see, I had been preparing to come and work here for two years prior to my arrival.  I knew I’d be coming here before I even married Jessie.  For two years it was a fact of life that I’d come here and spend the next two years here.  And then, three months after arriving - poof, it’s gone.  That has been somewhat of a blow to my sense of being.  A piece of my identity has disappeared, and I’m feeling a little bewildered by it.

I guess I was also noticing some of the stark beauty of La Paz from the window of the taxi and it brought it all to mind.  And then, while pondering all of this, I smelled one of the most indescribably bad odors I had ever run across.  We were passing the river that passes through La Paz, which by the time it makes it through the city can technically be decribed as a biohazard.  Which, my friends, is why you don’t drink the water out of the tap here.  Ah, the third world, how I’ve missed you…

Speaking of which, a word on taxis in La Paz.  I’ve taken various modes of public transportation all around the world.  I’ve been in fancy limos, those fun classic taxis in London, tuktuks in Bangkok, and a beaten-up Volkswagen taxi in Skopje with no A/C and a driver who refused to let me roll down the window in the middle of summer because the blowing air “would make us sick.”  Hell, I’ve ridden side-saddle on the back of a scooter in Phnom Penh because that was the only way to get around that city (wow, there’s a scary memory I had blocked out for quite a while).  But taking a taxi in La Paz is in a class of it’s own.  First, there’s the nature of traffic in La Paz.  There are a lot of hills, a lot of poorly maintained roads, and a lot of drivers who use momentum as the deciding traffic law (as in, whoever has the biggest vehicle and is going the fastest has the right of way).  Then, there are the taxis, which are universally 90’s era Toyota Corollas in various states of disrepair.  My favorite twist I’ve seen so far?  The ability some drivers have to turn off their engines on downward hills and turn them back on again (without turning over the ignition) when back on level ground or inclines.  Anyway, I’m not saying there aren’t crazier taxis rides in the world; in fact, I’m sure there are.  I’m just saying that I haven’t taken them, and am not looking forward to discovering them.

RIP Norman Whitfield

September 18th, 2008

Who?  That was my first question too when I saw the headline. Norman Whitfield was a Motown songwriter/producer that was involved with some of the greatest songs of that era, if not any era.  I’m a huge Motown fan.  My mother used to play a bunch of Motown tapes in the car when I was growing up, particularly the Supremes, and I’ve always thought it was some of the greatest music around.  And when I read up on what Norman Whitfield was responsible for, I grew very sad at the news of his death on 9/16/08.  For example:

  • Ain’t Too Proud to Beg
  • Beauty is Only Skin Deep
  • I Heard It Through the Grapevine
  • Cloud Nine
  • I Can’t Get Next To You
  • War
  • Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)
  • Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone
  • Car Wash

Are you freakin’ kidding me?  Those three songs I put in bold are in my top 10 songs of all time.  The man was a genius and I never knew it.  Well, it’s a shame and I thought you should know about it.